Unanswered Prayers...

I can't help but think about what it has taken for me to get to this place. Here I am, about to marry this amazing man, and I thank God for not sending him sooner... It sounds so cliche that "God never shows up early," but in this case, I know it to be true. If Dave would have shown up even a month earlier, I wouldn't have been ready - to befriend him let alone allow our relationship grow into what it has become.

In our pre-marital counseling and even my own self-reflections, I've had to look back and thank God for all of my unanswered prayers.

In my early 20s, I thought I knew what I wanted. Boy, was I wrong. I mourn how much I had to learn things the hard way - and hurt people closest to me. Yet, I am finally able to appreciate those red flags saying "Grow up!" or "You can tell what someone's made of when bad things happen." In fact, both lessons stick out like a sore thumb. For those who know me, pun DEFINITELY intended.

In my early seminary days, I thought I knew what God wanted. Boy, am I still trying to figure that one out! One of the most valuable things I learned during my time at seminary was (believe it or not) NOT in seminary. It was at a children's pastor's conference in San Diego. The guest speaker, Phil Vischer, said something quite remarkable, "If you are in the middle of God's will, you have no business knowing where you'll be in five years." In the proper context, he was referring to "planning out one's future." One can have goals - yes, but we can hardly imagine what God has in store for our lives. Who knows if we will win the lottery... Or on the flip side, develop a brain tumor?

Seminary has taught me to expect the unexpected. And never, in my wildest dreams, did I imagine sharing my life with someone so wonderful (who btw, finished his LAST class at Fuller today!! YAY!). He inspires me with his sermons, he makes me laugh when he pouts, and he makes my mouth water when he cooks... What an unbelievable gift - and all from unanswered prayers.

*****

(On a side note, I stole this blog title from an old song by Garth Brooks. It's a beautiful song and quite poignant, so here are the words if you're interested in reading them here.)