Two Cents That Make Sense

I love my best friend. Sometimes, she helps put things in perspective... And untangles all the crazy thoughts that get knotted up in my head. Here's her two cents from this morning's email conversation:

i think you need to ask yourself one questions -- do you want to see what can happen?

if you don't -- i think you need to reevaluate why you are hesitant and/or afraid.

if so, (which i hope you do), i think you are hurting the natural process by thinking so much. you want to take things slow -- then don't do anything PHYSICAL with him...but you can emotionally connect with someone and learn from them and that is taking things slow. don't you see that when you want to hang out with him --- that that is a natural identifier that you want to be around him...which also shows you where your heart is leading. it's your mind that wants you to stop and make sense and be practical..but that isn't how you learn about love or friendships. you have to follow your heart.

go to the gym. then go see him. have coffee. talk about childhoods. talk about your favorite vacations. hug him goodbye and realize -- that this evening -- you lived. :)
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This is why I love you.

You're right. I overthink waaaaaay too much.

Why is it that I'm so afraid? I want to take things slow. I want to enjoy the process. I don't want to have to make sense of it all in one night over chicken and waffles. And I don't want to ruin it by overthinking it. Augh.

It's like saying I don't want to think about purple elephants. The moment I say it, I'm already thinking of it... And the more I try not to, the more and more it pops in my head.

There must be drugs for this.
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they do make drugs for this. and i'll tell you the one i take to help me through the times i've been having... his name is Paulo Coelho. i started reading the night i had on the phone with you -- and you know, i'm doing much better inside already.

you need to realize that you can live a life without fear -- without risk -- but it won't fulfill you. you may realize you are safe and not hurting much, but you also will miss out on the other feelings that are good that come after taking a chance.

my friend...the process you want to appreciate -- is simple. you meet a man, you befriend him... you see where he is to fit in your life. that's process. but the fun is in the figuring out.

what is the purple elephant? that you may have a boyfriend? oh no! imagine that? ...come on, you've had boyfriends before. this isn't going to shock you or be new to you. it's YOU and how you handle the situation -- the woman you show him -- that's the part you are dealing with and learning about -- and let me tell you, you've come a long way (baby)...be proud.

date him.
date him.
date him.

as of yesterday - you guys aren't hanging out...you're learning about each other. don't fret over it. after tonight, tomorrow or next month's dinner... ask yourself -- do i still want this person in my life ... do i think he's worth spending time with?

and let life happen. you can't control this stuff. the harder you try to -- the more you will think HOW to...and the sad thing is -- you'll miss out on all the small and beautiful pieces that come when you open yourself and heart up to another person... whether it be for a moment or a lifetime. and even if you do miss out on all that -- you still won't know how to control anything that has to do with love.

so make the purple elephant something you aren't afraid of - -then go and rope the bastard. :) keep the fear --under control.